When I was younger, I lived in a small town. And our house in that small town was an old horse 'farm.' I say 'farm' because I don't know what other word to use. There was a barn with 4 stalls and a fenced-in pasture and two huge piles of manure-dirt.
I decided that it would be a good idea to plant a garden on that manure-dirt. I mean, it was pretty rich soil. And so I raked it and ho-ed it out and I planted my seeds and watered them. I would weed, but then I'd get bored and I would let the weeds grow.
My mom would say to me, 'Danae, if you don't weed those things won't grow. Plus, it looks horrifying. You need to weed.'
I wouldn't say that I was a smart-alek or anything growing up or anything, but my response was always the same.
'If God wants it to grow, it'll grow.'
My mom always loved THAT response. That meant that I'm not weeding the garden. But things always grew. There were always tomatoes. A few pumpkins.
There has always been a small part of me that wanted a farm. That's ridiculous. I've NEVER done anything like that in my life. But I feel like...I waste SO much. Why do those toys need to be double-wrapped in plastic? Is there a reason that my BREAD is double-wrapped?! Why will that keep it fresher?!
I know it would be busy, but a part of me really wants to grow vegetables and make bread all the time. Have you ever had feelings like that? I would love to do that.
Random, I know. But I was thinking about it while I was walking to work today.
Do you ever see things? I don't mean like a man in a banana suit that you know is NOT there, but like...things? HA! I'm not always articulate.
I'll notice things, often in threes. In the last three days, I've seen the number 666 as part of other numbers, but only at my office.
I've read blogs and stories and I always see things in threes.
I was just curious if anyone else noticed that this happened to them?
Sorry I haven't been blogging lately either. Do you ever just feel tired? I've been feeling kind of tired lately...hopefully I'll be back after this upcoming wedding? Cupcakes are really wearing me out!
I woke up suddenly with my heart racing and I can't calm down. My heart has been racing and I've calling out to God, but fear He doesn't hear me. I feel like I'm under attack and I don't know why. Please, could you pray for me?
I thought that, today, I'd post By and By in English. The lyrics really speak to me and I love it in all languages. I imagine dancing in Heaven to the Selah version. I think it's amazing.
By and By (We Will Understand It Better By and By) We are often tossed and driven On the restless sea of time. Somber skies and howling tempests Oft succeed a bright sunshine. In that land of perfect day, When the mists have rolled away, We will understand it better by and by.
Chorus By and by when the morning comes. When the saints of God are gathered home. We'll tell the story how we've overcome, For we'll understand it better by and by.
We are often destitute Of the things that life demands; Want of food and want of shelter, Thirsty hills and barren lands. We are trusting in the Lord And according to God's Word We will understand it better by and by.
Chorus By and by when the morning comes. When the saints of God are gathered home. We'll tell the story how we've overcome, For we'll understand it better by and by.
Trials dark on ev'ry hand And we cannot understand All the ways that God would lead us To that blessed promised land. But He guides us with His eye. And we'll follow till we die For we'll understand it better by and by.
Chorus By and by when the morning comes. When the saints of God are gathered home. We'll tell the story how we've overcome, For we'll understand it better by and by.
Oft our cherished plans have failed, Disappointments have prevailed And we've wandered in the darkness Heavy-hearted and alone. But we're trusting in the Lord And according to His Word We will understand it better by and by.
Chorus By and by when the morning comes. When the saints of God are gathered home. We'll tell the story how we've overcome, For we'll understand it better by and by.
Temptations, hidden snares Often take us unawares And our hearts are made to bleed For some tho'tless word or deed. And we wonder why the test When we try to do our best But we'll understand it better by and by.
Chorus By and by when the morning comes. When the saints of God are gathered home. We'll tell the story how we've overcome, For we'll understand it better by and by.
My parents are in town today, so I'm being only vaguely lazy. :) Hopefully making rainbow cupcakes though! I hope that this song speaks to you and makes you feel better today!
This song is on loop on my iPod right now at work. I love hearing how other people praise God. :-D
Mpasi, ntantu ta kwisa Beto bakisa yau ve Nki nzila Yesu baka kwa zulu Kansi Yandi twadisa Beto ku landa Yandi Beto bakisa yau mbote by and by
By and by, bu nsuka ta kwisa Bana ya Nzambi ta kwenda na zulu Beto yimbila kilumbu beto ndandu Beto bakisa yau mbote by and by
Awa mpukumunu Santana seka Nzambi Beto kele ntantu sambu masumu Beto yituka nki na yonso kele kwisa Beto bakisa yau mbote by and by
By and by, bu nsuka ta kwisa Bana ya Nzambi ta kwenda na zulu Beto yimbila kilumbu beto ndandu Beto bakisa yau mbote by and by
Bima mingi kele ve Bu muyoyo ya beto Kansi beto kwikila Tata Nzambi Bonso ndinga ya Yandi Beto ata luvundu Beto bakisa yau mbote by and by
By and by, bu nsuka ta kwisa Bana ya Nzambi ta kwenda na zulu Beto yimbila kilumbu beto ndandu Beto bakisa yau mbote by and by
Here's the story from Selah's website: In 1948 my grandfather Laban and grandmother Marcella started the mission station of Nkara-Ewa. This is where Nicol and I grew up in Congo, Africa. So many people were coming to know Jesus as their Savior that the Belgian government outlawed baptism for two years. They thought the people were excited and didn’t know what they were doing. My grandparents continued to disciple and share the gospel during those two years. The recording you’re hearing is of my grandfather in our lake on the first day he was allowed to baptize. The Belgian government didn’t realize how real Jesus was to the Congolese, because on this day over 1,000 people were baptized. In the background you can hear my grandmother and the Congolese singing the old hymn “We’ll Understand it Better By and By” which she and my father Jim translated into Kituba. I also had the privilege of having my dad sing with me on this recording. — Todd
Sorry it's been so long! I've had the flu and, once I got better, I had a luncheon to raise money for Project O. I'm still a little under the weather. Mainly with coughing and stuff, but I'm hoping that I can not overexert myself today and keep getting better.
Honestly...I don't know if it has upset me or what, but I can tell you, I've wanted to do something like that for years. I've wanted to go to another country and help children. I want to adopt. But have I really counted the costs? Sometimes. Sometimes not. My husband is very much against the idea. I know that he doesn't want to give up the comforts. He's said to me before, 'I feel like I can't give you what you want.' I guess I never really thought that it was true. Only God can do that. But if my husband won't go with, what do I do? I promised God to obey him. I PROMISED God.
I live in a city that just pisses me off with a job that I don't like in an apartment that doesn't make me happy. I know that God is calling me to a new beginning, but I'm scared. I am afraid of it at times. I'm confused. Can He call me, but not my husband? What do I do?
It's something that I've always thought about and it really tears at my heart. I don't know. It's way more than I was going to think about today, but maybe I needed to...
I keep spelling 'sacrifice' wrong, but that's beside the point.
It's funny how God directs us. I think that when something happens and you see it two or three (or sometimes four or five) times, that it's a message and it's a message you're supposed to get.
My husband and I were talking about Mercy vs. Sacrifice, then, of course, Heavenly Humor (a lovely lady!!) blogged about it!
There are things in my life that are definitely sacrifice. Being part of the Advent Mission Fund is most definitely sacrifice and a sacrifice I wish I hadn't committed to. There are things in my life that are mercy. I think this luncheon that is coming up is mercy...I don't HAVE to have this luncheon and I really, REALLY want it to raise money for these kids that I'm going to meet in May.
But what I want to know is:
Can what was once seen as sacrifice become an act of mercy?
I know that I've talked about what's going on before, but I kind of want to not refer to it by name today, if that's all right? You know, I want it to be a left hand-right hand thing (even if it can't be) and I'm trying to figure it all out.
So, when I first thought about it, I don't know if it was sacrifice or mercy. When she e-mailed me back, it became so overwhelming, I felt like I HAD to do it. (sacrifice). I had the testing done (sacrifice) and I was scared. I was terrified and I was having panic attacks. After a few weeks, I told her I couldn't do it. A month goes by, a month and a half goes by, but I still think about it. It comes up in different ways (my mom mentions it without even realizing it) and it's still on my mind. The fear that I had before was gone and I feel that maybe this is something God is calling me to do (mercy?).
Now, the doctor's appointment I have this Friday is 7 hours long (sacrifice) and I'm going to miss work (sacrifice), but Christ gave his life and so I can give a part of mine (mercy?).
What do you believe defines the line and the difference between the two?
UPDATE: I think I'm feeling a little bit better about a few things. Andrea made a comment. Though I was thinking of sacrifice as something that I didn't WANT to do, I think I like thinking it's something I HAVE to do. Mercy is more of a choice. Of course, this may not be how everyone sees it and maybe it's because I'm trying to define the two and that one just works well with my situation ;)
Ugh. I never thought I'd do this. I heard Sarah Silverman say once that she didn't want any 'vagina babies.' A bit vulgar, but I agreed with her! I've always said that I've wanted to adopt, but I had a dream last night.
Normally, I have really ridiculous dreams, like my grandmother and I are being chased through my old elementary school by a group of Nazis that actually look like SWAT team members. But this one was very real.
I was standing in a bathroom and there was a pregnancy test in my hand and it's positive. And so I take another one and it's positive too. I was really excited. Then I think the cat jumped on my head or something and I woke up.
And it was one of those dreams, you know, where you wake up and you still have that same feeling you did in the dream? Of course, now I'm at work and I'm on the verge of tears thinking about this dream. Steve's asking, 'are you alright?' Yeah, I guess I'm just a bit hormonal.
So now I'm looking up baking supplies and trying not to think about it. Have you ever had dreams like that? Or at least dreams that felt so real?
