Thursday, November 19, 2009

Church Jokes and Paxton

Hey everyone!
How's it going? I was excited to find I had a new follower. So I checked out her blog and I was CRACKING UP! Heavenly Humor is great and you should look her up. I love some good jokes. Since it's been an eh kind of day, I thought I'd add some church jokes that I found too to cheer us all up (especially if it's as cloudy where you are as it is here).
A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally, he took out his card and wrote on the back: Revelation 3:20 and stuck it in the door.

The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was the notation Genesis 3:10.

Revelation 3:20 reads: "Behold I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with me."

Genesis 3:10 reads: "And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked."

(This is one of my favorite jokes.)

A southern minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river." Sermon complete, he then sat down.

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365: 'Shall We Gather at the River'."


Also, Paxton is halfway there!!!

Baby Paxton is as crazy/beautiful as his Ma Ma says! If you want to check out the story behind Baby Be Blessed's November Give A Blessing, you can click here (or there). If you'd like to hear how proud his Ma Ma is, click here!

I'm sure baby Paxton would TRULY appreciate your prayers too, so if you feel inclined to donate, thank you! If you feel inclined to pray, CAN I GET AN AMEN!!! :)


  1. Hope you are having a wonderfully blessed day.
    Blessings and prayers, andrea

  2. There's nothing like some good church jokes!!

  3. These are great and love all the wonderful smiles that can be found within both. Love the last one the best!

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  4. I haven't heard those but they were great!! Now going to gather at the river..LOL!