How are you doing today? It's been a good/weird day today.
My husband got his bonus today! But it was less then he expected.
My new shoes came! But they may or may not last me for this wedding I bought them for.
My period is almost done! But it's only the third day and I forgot to wear a maxi pad this morning. (I'm very forgetful. I used to forget to wear underwear)
My husband is leaving today to go visit family, but now his flight has been delayed an hour and a half. Oh, New York. It's nice to live in a hub city, but flights always get tangled up out here.
But I did get ice cream for lunch. And I think I'm going to leave early today rather than stay for 5 o'clock-tails with the work crew. I need to find a bra for this wedding I have coming up.
Did you just learn more about me then you ever wanted to know? I apologize. :)
How's your day?
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Thankful Thursday
It's Thankful Thursday! I like these things. I need to do them more often.
1) I am thankful for my Toms!! Have you ever heard of Toms Shoes? For every pair you buy, they give a pair of shoes to a child in need. I need some new shoes (my old shoes smelled. My mom tried to make me get rid of them last time I visited and I refused. They couldn't be in the apartment, they smelled so bad).
2) My church family. We were just inducted as members of our church and I've made so many wonderful friends so quickly! It's a great community that holds the same beliefs I do and shows so, SO much love. I don't think I've been in a church with this much love before.
3) That we will have enough money for rent! NYC rent kills. Even in Harlem. So I'm just thankful we got it!
4) I am thankful that I'm going to California next week. I work for MTV and if you have teenage kids, you'll know that this Sunday is the Movie Awards. I will be working them. I start working Sunday evening at 5pm, work until 4am, then I have a hotel room in Times Square, then back to work at 9am and I may be working until midnight. But we'll see. Either way, California will be a welcome respite! I wish it were Hong Kong, but I have to wait for that.
5) It is my parents anniversary today! And, if he were still with us, it would be my Papa's 77th birthday. It made me really miss my family. I can't see them until August, but that's better then December (that would have been a year!)
My Papa LOVED my mom's food. Loved it. And if you knew my mom, you would know that she puts LITERALLY a pound of butter in everything she makes. I told my husband that I knew that my Papa would be eating the most buttery, heart-clogging thing at God's table. Steve said that, no matter what it was, it probably only had half as much butter as my mom uses.
Oh, oh!!! I have a 6.
6) That we got our new sponsor child!! I know this sounds weird, but for our anniversary, Steve sponsored another child. An 11-year-old boy from India and he looks so sweet in his picture!! I can't wait to send letters. :-D
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Weird
It's been a strange morning. My uterus has been trying to slowly kill me today and I'm just feeling generally...weird.
So a few weeks ago, I didn't realize I was standing on a woman's foot on the subway and she literally pushed me. Ever since then, I've had trepidation about standing in the middle of the subway car. For those not familiar, it would be away from the doors and standing between the two rows of seats. For me, I don't care if I get a seat as long as I don't have to worry about stepping on other people and getting the smack down.
I know that I was being weird and maybe a little whiny on the subway. I had a lot to carry (including a whole thing of cupcakes). So some seats opened up and so did the prime real-estate by the doors that don't open (except at 110. I'm on the 2,3 line). Didn't make it in time. Visibly disappointed.
This woman is sitting there and as she's reading her paper, just starts going off about an "ignorant b*tch". She is going on and on and on. Then I hear somebody say, "Please stop." Steve and I just keep looking at each other. He told me that the woman I guess was talking about the cupcakes he was holding too. So we go through the ride, I'm nearly falling into someone's lap and I tell Steve that I'm not going to be able to get out with the cupcakes and he says he's going to come with me. He pretends to rest the container on my head. At that point, I don't really care. Sit them on my head!
Then, as we turn to get out, the woman gets up and says, "Alright, Princess." She was looking in my direction. My direction. Am I the "ignorant b*tch"? I'm not sure. I didn't think so. I didn't want a seat and, yes, maybe I was a little more irritable then normal. I don't know. I have more of an issue with being called "Princess" than "Ignorant b*tch". Steve doesn't think she was talking about me. I have no clue. Which is why I feel more confused then angry.
I just don't understand New York sometimes. I'm just kind of fed up at the moment for a variety of reasons. Some of which are from what appears to be my waking up on the wrong side of the bed. I've been praying for a bit of piece. I know it'll come if I just stop dwelling on it all, you know? But there's a part of me that won't let it rest.
Oh well. Soon enough. God is here, I just need to listen. And look up plane flights to somewhere else :)
Edit: My husband says that he doesn't believe this woman was talking about me because she was calling the "ignorant b*tch" a "fatass" and he says that I have a "cute butt". :) He knows how to make me smile!
So a few weeks ago, I didn't realize I was standing on a woman's foot on the subway and she literally pushed me. Ever since then, I've had trepidation about standing in the middle of the subway car. For those not familiar, it would be away from the doors and standing between the two rows of seats. For me, I don't care if I get a seat as long as I don't have to worry about stepping on other people and getting the smack down.
I know that I was being weird and maybe a little whiny on the subway. I had a lot to carry (including a whole thing of cupcakes). So some seats opened up and so did the prime real-estate by the doors that don't open (except at 110. I'm on the 2,3 line). Didn't make it in time. Visibly disappointed.
This woman is sitting there and as she's reading her paper, just starts going off about an "ignorant b*tch". She is going on and on and on. Then I hear somebody say, "Please stop." Steve and I just keep looking at each other. He told me that the woman I guess was talking about the cupcakes he was holding too. So we go through the ride, I'm nearly falling into someone's lap and I tell Steve that I'm not going to be able to get out with the cupcakes and he says he's going to come with me. He pretends to rest the container on my head. At that point, I don't really care. Sit them on my head!
Then, as we turn to get out, the woman gets up and says, "Alright, Princess." She was looking in my direction. My direction. Am I the "ignorant b*tch"? I'm not sure. I didn't think so. I didn't want a seat and, yes, maybe I was a little more irritable then normal. I don't know. I have more of an issue with being called "Princess" than "Ignorant b*tch". Steve doesn't think she was talking about me. I have no clue. Which is why I feel more confused then angry.
I just don't understand New York sometimes. I'm just kind of fed up at the moment for a variety of reasons. Some of which are from what appears to be my waking up on the wrong side of the bed. I've been praying for a bit of piece. I know it'll come if I just stop dwelling on it all, you know? But there's a part of me that won't let it rest.
Oh well. Soon enough. God is here, I just need to listen. And look up plane flights to somewhere else :)
Edit: My husband says that he doesn't believe this woman was talking about me because she was calling the "ignorant b*tch" a "fatass" and he says that I have a "cute butt". :) He knows how to make me smile!
Monday, May 25, 2009
Friend-Makin' Mondays
I love All That is Good on Mondays (well, all the time, but ESPECIALLY Mondays) because it's Friend-Makin' Mondays!!!
The question for today.
How did you and your significant other meet? and if you don't have a significant other at the moment then what would be your dream way to meet him?
So, I was 14 and he was 15. (Awhile ago, right?) He was a drummer and I was a trombone player at that time. I was friends with his sister and...the first memory I have of him is nearly sitting on his lap because his friend was dropping me and my friend off at that girl's house. Later that night, in true teenager-fashion, I threw water on him (not THAT much, but a little) and then went to his house for the band bonfire. They dared me to kiss him, but...come on!! I'd never kissed anyone before!! So I kissed him on the cheek and he ran away. I tried to find him, but I couldn't. When he came out of the shadows (he was hiding behind his house), we talked for the rest of the night. His dad asked who this girl was he was talking to and we ended up talking to me the next day on AIM. He came with me to TubaChristmas and we've been together since!!! We just celebrated our second year of marriage and this year, we'll have been together for 10 years.
We've been through so much together. I don't know what I'd do without him. Who else would watch Spongebob with me? Or play Scrabble? Or wrestle me when I'm feeling ridiculous? Who else would indulge my fantasies to move to Australia or to go to South Africa for fun?! God has truly, TRULY blessed me with him. :)
Baking, Baking, Baking
I've been baking a lot lately, but haven't put any pictures up. So I thought I would.
I used to be REALLY bad at cooking and baking. I couldn't make that Kraft mac and cheese out of the box (seriously. I used to get it stuck on the bottom of the pan and burn it)
I think I am most proud of these: cinnamon raisin bagels. I MADE BAGELS!!
These are the best scones I've ever made. Chocolate chip scones. They were really light. More like cake then all the other ones I've made.
My friend Kate came over (Steve was playing with the camera coloring again) so I made her Cornish pasties. Thanks for the recipe, Vashti!
This was my prettiest one. I gave it to Kate. It DOES have turnip in it.
Vegan chocolate cake. Did you know that cocoa and most chocolate is vegan? Only milk chocolate is not. One of our vicars at church is vegan and we were having a going-away party for her and another girl, so I made vegan chocolate cake so she could eat. She was so excited!! She was nervous about going to a dessert reception. She's actually a raw vegan. How is she going to eat in Texas?!
I'm going to have some more up soon. I really like cooking!!! Have any good recipes? I'm always looking!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Happiness, Silliness, and the Like
I like to bake. A lot. It makes Steve a little irritated because I make a TON of dirty dishes. But I can't help that. I made bagels the other day and it was great. Here's the next goal I have set for myself...
CINNAMON ROLLS!!! I'm so excited to try them. I think I'm going to try them over Memorial Day.
So I found out that I am fo sho going to South Korea this summer! I am so excited. I know this is going to sound gross, but I'm thinking about trying dog's meat soup. If I can get my brother to do it, then I can go. Once he's in, at least I know that someone will go with me. I don't really need to wander around Seoul by myself.
My goal in life at the moment is spoiling my neice. Sure, her parents don't entirely want it, but I think it might be my job. So when we go, I'm thinking about getting some things for her.
This absolutely adorable dress is called a hanbok. They make them specially for certain occasions or just have them for everyday. This one looks like it'd be a first birthday special occassion one. As long as my sister-in-law doesn't mind, Lillian is freaking GETTING ONE.
That's my excitement so far. Silly excitement.
My happiness for today/this week is:
1) Steve is getting his bonus soon. Which is really nice so that we can pay some things off and such.
2) Though I'm not entirely excited about working Movie Awards, it'll be good to get some comp days, otherwise, I'm not going to be paid during all my time off.
3) I'm just feeling like God made this a beautiful day!! He is so freaking good to me for no reason and I'm trying to appreciate that in all the things I do and say and think.
How are you guys? How has your week been and all?
That's my excitement so far. Silly excitement.
My happiness for today/this week is:
1) Steve is getting his bonus soon. Which is really nice so that we can pay some things off and such.
2) Though I'm not entirely excited about working Movie Awards, it'll be good to get some comp days, otherwise, I'm not going to be paid during all my time off.
3) I'm just feeling like God made this a beautiful day!! He is so freaking good to me for no reason and I'm trying to appreciate that in all the things I do and say and think.
How are you guys? How has your week been and all?
Monday, May 18, 2009
Friend-Makin' Mondays!
Was over on All That is Good and it's Friend-Makin' Mondays! Haven't done one in a bit, so here I go :)
You wouldn't be caught dead where?: Hmm...I don't really have any place like this. But I don't think I'd want to be dead in an alley.
Do you have any hidden talents?: If you knew me in high school, you would know that I played the tuba, trombone, and baritone. I was also first chair for trombone and tuba!! I really miss my tuba, actually.
Name two things you consider yourself to be very good at: Organizing events and (possibly) baking. I'm definitely improving on baking.
Name two things you consider yourself to be very bad at: Cleaning and anything involving manual dexterity. My mom always used to say that she should have named be Grace because then I'd have some. After knocking around some pots and pans, Steve agreed with her.
Have you ever won a trophy?: Not a trophy per se. I have won a lot of academic honors. I was part of the 8th grade basketball team that won a trophy. I didn't score ONE point that year...
Name one thing not many people know about you: Since we're all ladies here...I had a breast reduction in 2006. Best decision I ever made.
Name your earliest memory: I can remember doing letters with my mom when I was probably between 4 and 5 years old. If I remember correctly, I was awesome at V's.
What was your favorite musical group in jr. high?: Hmm...I'm not sure about this. I feel like I want to say Our Lady Peace, but junior high may have been too early for that. I can tell you that my first CD was Chumbawumba.
What was something the worst roommate you ever had did?: My first roommate was pretty bad. I didn't grow up in a family that fought often and we NEVER screamed at each other. My roommate would constantly scream at her mother on the phone and it was REALLY uncomfortable. She threw a TV remote at me once too because I asked a question about a show she was watching. They kept telling us to "work it out" and that we would have to learn to live with people if we were going to get married. I'm sorry, but I picked who I got married too. I did not pick her as my roommate. Then I got the most awesome roommate ever. :)
When you were a kid what did you want to be when you grew up?: A band director or a forensic scientist.
What was your worst dating experience?: My husband is probably the only real boyfriend I had. But I did have a "boyfriend" in 8th grade. That was bad news. I don't know how much I want to go there. ;)
If you were about to die what would your last meal be?: Sushi or a churrascaria. I love Brazilian steakhouses!!
Who is the most important person in you life?: My loving husband!
If your house was on fire what 3 things would you grab on your way out?: My husband, my travel journal and...let me think...possibly our donation money. We have a good amount of money that doesn't technically belong to us. And I would feel bad if someone didn't get the money that belonged to them because of a fire. So I guess that would be my third.
You wouldn't be caught dead where?: Hmm...I don't really have any place like this. But I don't think I'd want to be dead in an alley.
Do you have any hidden talents?: If you knew me in high school, you would know that I played the tuba, trombone, and baritone. I was also first chair for trombone and tuba!! I really miss my tuba, actually.
Name two things you consider yourself to be very good at: Organizing events and (possibly) baking. I'm definitely improving on baking.
Name two things you consider yourself to be very bad at: Cleaning and anything involving manual dexterity. My mom always used to say that she should have named be Grace because then I'd have some. After knocking around some pots and pans, Steve agreed with her.
Have you ever won a trophy?: Not a trophy per se. I have won a lot of academic honors. I was part of the 8th grade basketball team that won a trophy. I didn't score ONE point that year...
Name one thing not many people know about you: Since we're all ladies here...I had a breast reduction in 2006. Best decision I ever made.
Name your earliest memory: I can remember doing letters with my mom when I was probably between 4 and 5 years old. If I remember correctly, I was awesome at V's.
What was your favorite musical group in jr. high?: Hmm...I'm not sure about this. I feel like I want to say Our Lady Peace, but junior high may have been too early for that. I can tell you that my first CD was Chumbawumba.
What was something the worst roommate you ever had did?: My first roommate was pretty bad. I didn't grow up in a family that fought often and we NEVER screamed at each other. My roommate would constantly scream at her mother on the phone and it was REALLY uncomfortable. She threw a TV remote at me once too because I asked a question about a show she was watching. They kept telling us to "work it out" and that we would have to learn to live with people if we were going to get married. I'm sorry, but I picked who I got married too. I did not pick her as my roommate. Then I got the most awesome roommate ever. :)
When you were a kid what did you want to be when you grew up?: A band director or a forensic scientist.
What was your worst dating experience?: My husband is probably the only real boyfriend I had. But I did have a "boyfriend" in 8th grade. That was bad news. I don't know how much I want to go there. ;)
If you were about to die what would your last meal be?: Sushi or a churrascaria. I love Brazilian steakhouses!!
Who is the most important person in you life?: My loving husband!
If your house was on fire what 3 things would you grab on your way out?: My husband, my travel journal and...let me think...possibly our donation money. We have a good amount of money that doesn't technically belong to us. And I would feel bad if someone didn't get the money that belonged to them because of a fire. So I guess that would be my third.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Waking Up
I woke up this morning to our bank account in negative numbers. I'm feeling gross and kind of pudgy today. But I don't really care. I'm still in a good mood. God has been doing such good things that I haven't been paying attention to! So I'm going to try and pay more attention. But I'm like a kid in a candy store, so we'll see how that goes. :-D
I'm doing lots of baking this weekend and I'm hoping to make a CORNISH pasty!! I bought a turnip in our last grocery lot. But before that...
Steve and I are celebrating our second wedding anniversary this weekend (it's on Tuesday) and this year, we've been together for 10 years.
When we started "dating" when I was 14, I never thought I'd have such a wonderful husband in my future. We've been together through so much, from world-wide moves to suicide attempts to graduations and weddings. We've grown so much. I can't imagine someone that I'd rather quote movie lines with, travel the world with, and sleep beside every night. He actually listens to my insanity and considers it IMPORTANT. I thought only God would be willing to do that! I don't always say how much I love him to other people, but I don't know what life would be like without him anymore.
So in honor of that, I thought I'd post some pictures of my handsome, loving, wonderful husband
I'm doing lots of baking this weekend and I'm hoping to make a CORNISH pasty!! I bought a turnip in our last grocery lot. But before that...
Steve and I are celebrating our second wedding anniversary this weekend (it's on Tuesday) and this year, we've been together for 10 years.
When we started "dating" when I was 14, I never thought I'd have such a wonderful husband in my future. We've been together through so much, from world-wide moves to suicide attempts to graduations and weddings. We've grown so much. I can't imagine someone that I'd rather quote movie lines with, travel the world with, and sleep beside every night. He actually listens to my insanity and considers it IMPORTANT. I thought only God would be willing to do that! I don't always say how much I love him to other people, but I don't know what life would be like without him anymore.
So in honor of that, I thought I'd post some pictures of my handsome, loving, wonderful husband
Hong Kong
Yes, I did convince him to jump off a building for me! Macau
Oahu, Hawaii
Ha! I think I'm 16 in this picture.
New York City
We have an affinity for mustaches
I love you, Steve!!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Feeling Fat
I may as well have an eating disorder. I've been pretty close to one my whole life.
Ever since I was young, every time I ate, I could feel my thighs expanding and I start to freak out. Not just with cake, but with EVERYTHING. But yeah...we're supposed to eat. Pretty sure about that.
I try to tell myself, 'God loves you, even when your thighs touch. When you get to heaven and have to stand before Him, He's not going to say 'Well, your butt jiggles when you walk so...off you go!' '
But I still freak out. It makes me feel ridiculous. I'm between 148 and 149, which is just on the cusp of being "overweight". I guess. I'm still at normal. I just need to be better about my eating and blah blah blah. Which is freaking hard. Steve eats all. the. time. He eats and he loses weight. Drives me NUTS.
It'll be okay. God loves me the way I am. I just need to love me the way I am.
Ever since I was young, every time I ate, I could feel my thighs expanding and I start to freak out. Not just with cake, but with EVERYTHING. But yeah...we're supposed to eat. Pretty sure about that.
I try to tell myself, 'God loves you, even when your thighs touch. When you get to heaven and have to stand before Him, He's not going to say 'Well, your butt jiggles when you walk so...off you go!' '
But I still freak out. It makes me feel ridiculous. I'm between 148 and 149, which is just on the cusp of being "overweight". I guess. I'm still at normal. I just need to be better about my eating and blah blah blah. Which is freaking hard. Steve eats all. the. time. He eats and he loses weight. Drives me NUTS.
It'll be okay. God loves me the way I am. I just need to love me the way I am.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
My Happiness
It's been awhile! I was actually at a wedding. I should put some pictures up. It was beautiful! I loved it.
I've had some happiness and I thought I'd share it! Feel free to share your happiness too.
1) I thought that I had really let down a friend. I felt like I hadn't been there for her. But she showed me true love and really, how cool God is. How big He is.
2) I've been doing lots of voice-overs lately, which is awesome, because (almost) all my voice-over money goes to our travel fund. I'm hoping that 1) we can get to South Africa and 2) we could go on a safari and bring some kids with or something :-D
3) I can't even begin to tell you how kind everyone was at this wedding this past weekend. I had booked the flight in September and they were giving me hotel info. They asked if my husband was coming (we decided to split up to save a bit) and when I said no, the bride's parents let me stay at their house AND they had someone pick me up from the airport. So instead of spending almost $400 (like I thought I was going to), I only spent cab money to and from the airport in NYC. God at work :)
4) Had a progressive dinner with some church people on Sunday. I think they're all very nice, very fun, and will be a great community. I'm glad we found this church and that we're joining the membership on Sunday.
My job is NOT included in my happiness. But that's okay. Steve had his LAST CPA exam on Saturday and we're hoping that he can get a job that's a bit more ethical once he's a certified CPA (certified public accountant). And if it's still a job in NYC, I hope that I can find something to do that I enjoy.
Are you happy today? Or maybe not so happy? Either way, God is with you all the way :)
I've had some happiness and I thought I'd share it! Feel free to share your happiness too.
1) I thought that I had really let down a friend. I felt like I hadn't been there for her. But she showed me true love and really, how cool God is. How big He is.
2) I've been doing lots of voice-overs lately, which is awesome, because (almost) all my voice-over money goes to our travel fund. I'm hoping that 1) we can get to South Africa and 2) we could go on a safari and bring some kids with or something :-D
3) I can't even begin to tell you how kind everyone was at this wedding this past weekend. I had booked the flight in September and they were giving me hotel info. They asked if my husband was coming (we decided to split up to save a bit) and when I said no, the bride's parents let me stay at their house AND they had someone pick me up from the airport. So instead of spending almost $400 (like I thought I was going to), I only spent cab money to and from the airport in NYC. God at work :)
4) Had a progressive dinner with some church people on Sunday. I think they're all very nice, very fun, and will be a great community. I'm glad we found this church and that we're joining the membership on Sunday.
My job is NOT included in my happiness. But that's okay. Steve had his LAST CPA exam on Saturday and we're hoping that he can get a job that's a bit more ethical once he's a certified CPA (certified public accountant). And if it's still a job in NYC, I hope that I can find something to do that I enjoy.
Are you happy today? Or maybe not so happy? Either way, God is with you all the way :)
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Thankful Thursday
My friend Vashti always does this and I think it's great. Thank you, Sonya for Thankful Thursdays! (But that doesn't count for my list!!)
1) I went to the doctor today and, from what they could see on the ultrasound, I have no fibroids!! Which is very exciting for me. I was getting a bit upset about it.
2) This will be silly, but I got an upgrade on my flight from St. Louis to NYC on Sunday after my friend Laurie's wedding. I was giggling like a small school kid when I got the e-mail.
3) My husband was so sweet and bought me a mini tartlet pan (I want to make tarte aux pommes for our church luncheon coming up) and it's not big enough. :( But he let me buy a bigger one! So now I need to return the mini tartlets, but I'll have the bigger pan for next week!
4) I am thankful for my friend Sam in Ohio. She has been so sweet and so willing to listen to my stupidity and help me with my faith journey.
5) I am thankful for people I have never met. You blog people are some of the most caring people I have never met and I wish I could meet all of you!! I'm not even joking!! A special thank you to Vashti. You really mean a lot to me.
Even with as bad as this week has been (especially work-wise), God has been so good to me. I think it's just nice to write it down so you can remember it. Not every day will shine bright, but every day has its sunny moments.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
My Happiness For Today
Okay. Here are my three things for today. (Updated as they come to me)
1) My husband has decided to come with me to my ultrasound tomorrow!! It's at 10am and he's actually skipping work to come with me. :) I know it doesn't sound like a lot, but it is. I told him he didn't have to, but he said that he already talked to his boss. So he's going to get up early (a miracle?), go to work early, and then take off some time to come with me. I switched to a midwife and she thought she could feel a fibroid so...off to some more tests!!
2) Steve is going downtown while I'm still at work to get me some mini-tartlet pans and possibly something that measures ounces. I want to make tarte aux pommes for our church's International Luncheon, as well as some coconut cake (I wish I could remember the Cambodian name for it).
3)
My job is certainly draining me today. I think I need to start recording again. I read with Recording Services for the Blind and Dyslexic. It's been over a week since I've gone and I think I should go again. Just one of those things that helps brighten your day, you know?
Do you have anything that brightens your day?
1) My husband has decided to come with me to my ultrasound tomorrow!! It's at 10am and he's actually skipping work to come with me. :) I know it doesn't sound like a lot, but it is. I told him he didn't have to, but he said that he already talked to his boss. So he's going to get up early (a miracle?), go to work early, and then take off some time to come with me. I switched to a midwife and she thought she could feel a fibroid so...off to some more tests!!
2) Steve is going downtown while I'm still at work to get me some mini-tartlet pans and possibly something that measures ounces. I want to make tarte aux pommes for our church's International Luncheon, as well as some coconut cake (I wish I could remember the Cambodian name for it).
3)
My job is certainly draining me today. I think I need to start recording again. I read with Recording Services for the Blind and Dyslexic. It's been over a week since I've gone and I think I should go again. Just one of those things that helps brighten your day, you know?
Do you have anything that brightens your day?
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Itchy Feet
Ugh.
This will be a rant.
So I have "itchy feet" again. In Danae-speak, that means any number of things. 1) I need to leave the country for a week or two and come back. 2) I want to quit my job and dig wells in Vietnam or help build orphanages in South Africa or drive a van through the US without showering.
Maybe it's because I had a really bad day. Maybe it's because I'm reading a book about quitting your job and driving around the country. Maybe it's because I've been moody all day.
And I keep jumping back and forth between wanting to quit my job and move to a third-world country and wanting to adopt.
Steve says that I can say these things knowing that he'll hold me back and I won't actually have to go through with my plans. Mainly, that my talk is cheap.
But it doesn't FEEL cheap. It doesn't FEEL like I'm saying these things in vain. I FEEL like I could turn away and not look back as often as people think I should. My friend Vanessa says I'm cold like that. It's not that I'm cold, I don't think, it's that I know when it's time for something to pass on. Maybe that's why I deleted most of my high school friends on Facebook...
And it would be hard. It would be SO hard. But I don't know, at times, if it would be harder helping people and seeing heartache every day or slowly dying at MTV.
WHAT IS THE POINT OF LIFE IF YOU NEVER LIVE IT?!?!
And I've lived it more than other people have. But always in sort of a bubble. I've walked through streets with my family. My mom with her Burberry purse and my sister with her bleached hair and Dior sunglasses and I love them for who they are. But I wonder what it would be like to actually stay in a village instead of the most expensive hotel in the city or what it would be like to build something with my own hands.
Maybe I just want to f- up my life a little bit, to be a little less responsible while there's still time. I still want to adopt. I still don't want to own a house. There's little things like that that I don't mind. But who says we have to be responsible all the time? Maybe God's not at a 9-5 job. But maybe He is...just not mine.
I know that God will be with me and that He'll guide me as he always has. Could this be God pulling at my heart? And if it is, why won't He pull on my husbands too?! I'm praying for guidance and wisdom and fasting for it and...I just don't know. I'm at a loss.
Maybe I just need a vacation. Hell if I know.
My Happy Moments Plus Adoption
Yeah, I've been slacking. Horribly. And it's kind of been a crappy day (a woman pushed me on the subway because I didn't realize I was on her foot and no one would let us out of the car) and I prayed and I'm feeling better. So I should be happy that I'm alive, I have a home, and I have food (a banana too).
This may be a work in progress since it's before noon, but I'll start now.
My happy moments for today:
1) I have a wonderful husband who will say ridiculous things to get me in a better mood. And who will placate me with almost anything. He's also pretty good when I say things like, "Let's move to Cambodia and open an orphanage" or "Let's teach English in Africa".
2) There is a prayer application on Facebook and the verse that it chose today was really nice. It made me feel a lot better about today. Psalm 42:11
3) I still get overtime. Gotta look at the little things, right? And I get to make a dessert for our International Luncheon at church. I'm going to look up some crazy recipes now :)
I never thought I'd want a kid. Now, whenever we walk through the park, we point out small children that I would like to grab and raise as my own. Obviously, this is not the best way to acquire a child. Turns out though, I'm still too young to adopt. Which is fine. Steve doesn't want to raise children in Manhattan anyway (and I agree with him more and more each day). So we're looking at international adoption once I turn 25/we've been married for 3 years (only two months apart in 2010). Steve says I like to plan things early. I do. Darn it. So I've already started looking at programs.
China and Taiwan are right out. I mean, I could wait until I'm 30, I guess. Maybe. So that leaves Korea, Peru, Thailand, Ethiopia, and...Russia. I'm going to start praying about it now. Never too early to start the prayers!!
This may be a work in progress since it's before noon, but I'll start now.
My happy moments for today:
1) I have a wonderful husband who will say ridiculous things to get me in a better mood. And who will placate me with almost anything. He's also pretty good when I say things like, "Let's move to Cambodia and open an orphanage" or "Let's teach English in Africa".
2) There is a prayer application on Facebook and the verse that it chose today was really nice. It made me feel a lot better about today. Psalm 42:11
3) I still get overtime. Gotta look at the little things, right? And I get to make a dessert for our International Luncheon at church. I'm going to look up some crazy recipes now :)
I never thought I'd want a kid. Now, whenever we walk through the park, we point out small children that I would like to grab and raise as my own. Obviously, this is not the best way to acquire a child. Turns out though, I'm still too young to adopt. Which is fine. Steve doesn't want to raise children in Manhattan anyway (and I agree with him more and more each day). So we're looking at international adoption once I turn 25/we've been married for 3 years (only two months apart in 2010). Steve says I like to plan things early. I do. Darn it. So I've already started looking at programs.
China and Taiwan are right out. I mean, I could wait until I'm 30, I guess. Maybe. So that leaves Korea, Peru, Thailand, Ethiopia, and...Russia. I'm going to start praying about it now. Never too early to start the prayers!!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Rainbow Cookies
For some reason, this all turned out backwards and my font is weird. But these are my rainbow cookies so far. :) We'll see if they get any better when the chocolate hardens.
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