Thursday, October 1, 2009

If You Want My Body...


Have you heard of Lizzi Miller? She's a plus-sized model and she posed (almost) nude in Glamour. I know this was awhile ago, but I was just thinking of it now. I think she's beautiful!!! Absolutely stunning. Half the comments under the blog involved things like, 'gross!' But I think she's beautiful.

I have almost no self-esteem when it comes to my body. None. NONE. And I never really remember having any sort of self-esteem. I pretty much self-perpetuate it too. Because I feel 'fat,' I don't do my hair, my make-up, blah blah blah. I feel awkward in clothes that hug my body and I feel funny when I show off too much skin.

I haven't worn shorts in over 7 years.

My husband tells me time and time again: 'You are not fat. What are you talking about?' He said to me last night, 'You don't know what 'fat' is. Because you think 'thin' means you're a bean pole.' He's right though. I am obsessed with this idea that I shouldn't jiggle anywhere.

I've tried to get over it. I've told myself that God loves me no matter what. In college, I had a mantra that I would say when I went to bed and woke up. 'It's not the size of my jeans that matter, but the size of my heart.' But I still can't get over looking at myself in the mirror and seeing that little jiggle, that cellulite or watching the numbers creep up on the scale.

Do you ever feel like that? UGH! I hate it. Because there are worse things in the world then the size of my butt.

7 comments:

  1. SO glad you posted this. For too long we have based beauty on what the world thinks it is instead of what God KNOWS it is.

    Love to you!

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  2. I feel the same way. I don't want any part of my body jiggling either. It's hard to get over, so I keep working out. ha!

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  3. I am pretty over weight as I haven't worked to lose post baby weight after two kids. I am fed up with my body but very lazy when it comes to exercise. Lately I have been walking Jacob to school and trying to eat more healthily. However we have a God who looks at our heart and not our appearance thankfully!
    Great photo!
    Love Collette xxxx

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  4. you know we are twins...right?!
    love you.
    and she is stunning you are right.

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  5. OMG I am SOOOOOO right there with you. I can not look in the mirror and say one nice thing about my body. When I am having really low times, I also can't find a thing I like about my face. I know that it's not as bad as I believe it to be, but I just get so down on myself thinking I should be something I am not. Keep your head up!

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  6. I've always been a fan of plus-size models! There's a great site with many images of plus-size models here:

    http://www.judgmentofparis.com/

    They're all gorgeous.

    The site's forum also has thought-provoking discussions about body image and the media.

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  7. I had heard about this, but not seen it. Yes, this is an absolutely stunning woman and I so appreciate that she posed for this photo.

    I am just learning to like my body - I've lost nearly 40 pounds and have about 35 more to go. I like the way I feel and I enjoy buying clothes again (though I'm on a very, very tight budget:-)

    What I'm learning more than anything is that I am worth loving for who I am - God loves me fat, skinny or in between. God's eyes see me as a beloved and beautiful creation He thought of before time began. (I try to say that to myself every time before I look in the mirror. Some days, it works better than others:=)

    You are so blessed that your husband finds you beautiful as you are - mine does too - we are fortunate indeed.

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